"We do not deal much in facts when we are contemplating ourselves." ~Mark Twain
A few years ago I was invited to a party thrown for/by Nate Berkus. The party was intended for design and lifestyle bloggers and I happened to be on that list. *Shrug* When I told friends, family and Oprah devotees that I would be breathing the same air as Nate Berkus they asked if they could stowaway in my suitcase. The second question was “Um...you?”. The day of the party I went with a group of women and while their my friend Liz was ready to talk to Nate so she has me go up their with him and she tells him that she’s Liz Gumbinner and amazing and owner of a super successful business and I’m standing there thinking, HOW DID I GET INVITED TO THIS?! I AM NOT ALL THAT. And she says, “This is Heather. Heather is great...” and begins to list off all of the things that I am good at that have nothing to do with being a design blogger superstar. And in that moment I wanted nothing more than to hug the snot out of her.
I bring this up not to be all, “You like me! You really like me!” but because, and I imagine this is the same for many people, I think I’m pretty average. I’m nothing special. I have no extraordinary talents. In fact, on average, I think very little of myself. I often dwell on how much better/successful/talented/more aware of how to use a comma than actually telling myself or others that I am ‘kind, smart and important’ (shout out to Abilene!). I probably need a good therapist rather than word vomit on the Internet but there that is: I have an issue with telling people that I am good at something. I also cannot accept a compliment.
In hindsight people always tell me what I should have said to people that is complimentary to me and my work both in real life and online but I almost always - actually, I did this earlier today - say that I don’t want to be prideful or boisterous or that being mentioned in the Wall Street Journal isn’t that big of a deal.
So what do I do? I need help in the self esteem department but I have no clue where to start.