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    Saturday
    Sep242005

    My First Drunk Post

    • I got my picture taken with someone who lives on mother fucking WISTERIA LANE! (If you don't know where that is, then whoa!)
    • I was thisclose to Diddy
    • I had about 150 mini quesadillas
    • I had about 10 glasses of wine
    • I have to be up at 7 AM tomorrow-Saturday!
    • someone stole my camera and got his picture taken with Vivica A. Fox. But I won't hate.
    • Did I mention WISTERIA LANE. And how I asked the person who lives there what's going to happen on Sunday night, because I'm mildly obsessed with Desperate Housewives...?
    • NIGHT!
    Thursday
    Sep222005

    So That's Where My $140,000 Went To

    "Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money." ~Gary Bolding

    Dearest Board of Trustees of American University:

    Almost five months have passed since my graduation as a member of the class of 2005, this means that there is only one month until the six month grace period on student loans is up and loans need to be paid off. Thankfully I only owe $2,000 in loans. Unfortunately enough though, this is because my parents-according to your finance department’s calculations- made enough to send me to school at a whopping (damn near close to including room and board) $35,000 a year.

    My parents never complained, at least not really, because AU was my first choice school to attend. But now, almost six months after the fact, my parents still gently remind where all of their money went, and why now out of college they aren’t all too thrilled at supplementing my income, but still they don’t complain.

    You see, my parents didn’t complain because on a whole, they knew I enjoyed my time there. Yes, it was very very expensive, but I was involved and doing what I wanted to do. There were no complaints until they read this in the Washington Post. I want my damn money back.

    In four years, I encountered Benjamin Ladner all of three times, and this was three times more than the average student, and only because I was a member of the Student Confederation. I enjoyed the lovely chef, and the backyard parties with the waterfalls and koi. All held in a house that cost well over $1 Million. But it was ok. Because here I was hoping that Ben Ladner was out doing something important for the school. Well as it turns out, he wasn’t. He was frolicking around having fancy-shmancy dinners and sending his chef to Paris for lessons, getting first class tickets on overseas trips, and using a chauffer to get his dry cleaning.

    For the record, the students eat at TDR for $9 a shitty meal, no fancy lessons, just the guy who manages not to burn the grilled cheese; AU abroad doesn’t provide tickets and sure as hell not first class flights anywhere (and for the record, paying tuition in addition to a several thousand dollar program fee is a trifle ridiculous) and students use the AU SHUTTLE to get their dry cleaning. Tell Mr. Ladner that he should have learned to do the same. Also mention to Mr. Ladner that while many of his students parent's may have some kind of money, I'm pretty sure that, that money was to be used for their students, not him and his pan-seared foie gras, loving ass.

    I repeat, I want my damn money back. Sorry, my mom wants her money back and she wants it back now. And while you're at it, supplement my income, since Mr. Ladner can afford to live in DC off my parent's money, I should too.

    All the best and good luck with the law suits that are sure to follow,

    Heather B.

    P.S. I'm sorry that this is so harsh, it's just what happens when $500,000 of student's money is not used on scholarships but on alcohol.
    P.P.S. Have I emphasized the students enough for you?
    Wednesday
    Sep212005

    Carb It

    "It is a hard matter, my fellow citizens, to argue with the belly, since it has no ears." ~Plutarch

    I will readily admit that I went through an ephedrine phase, by way of Xenadrine. After the FDA decided that ephedra is terrible on the system and Xenadrine did away with it, they tried to claim that the new stuff was the same as the old stuff. It so wasn’t.

    (side note: I also went through other poor dieting phases, that my mother would die if she knew about. And it’s not me not being honest, because if you were to ask me I’d be like “hell yes”, but for right now, use your imagination as to exactly what ‘other poor dieting phases’ are. I’m sure your imagination will lead you to the proper conclusions)

    Ok, it’s not like I had nor have serious weight problems or anything like that. And it takes months for it to be noticeable that I’ve gained or lost weight, because I’m tall enough and in proportion, but yes I did go the ‘drug’ route to lose weight. And holy hell I lost a lot of it. At the same time, Peg had jumped on the Atkins bandwagon. For years with her working and Garrett and I have multiple activities, dinners consisted of Burger King and McDonalds. I was eating Big Macs at the tender age of 5 (but I was such an adorable chubby little girl).

    Growing up it’s not like I was inactive and just sat around watching TV all day. I did ballet, tap, jazz, cheerleading, soccer, threw shot put and discus and some running. When I came to AU instead of gaining 15-20lbs, I lost 15. Awesome. I was the girl that was at the gym every day at 6:30 AM. The next fall, around Thanksgiving of my Sophomore year, I started taking Xenadrine. That shit made me so ill that I didn’t want to eat. And when I did eat, my meals consisted of a veggie burger and cantaloupe and an excessive amount of OJ (the calcium fortified kind, thank you very much).

    The whole take Xenadrine, feel like shit, plan worked out nicely; with a lovely 60lbs weight loss, after which I was told that I look anorexic. Even Peg was a little shocked that I had lost more weight than she had even though we started at the same time (ahem, that’s what getting up at 6 AM for the gym gets you). Oh wait, see that weight loss high, I was just on? Yup, gone. I think that I’ve managed to gain well over half of it back.

    But let’s face it, I stopped paying attention. Nicole Ritchie can pull off the anorexic look, I can’t. Nicole Ritchie has also never worked on a campaign, in which all you do is eat, worry, work, then eat some more. Then four months in Spain, although I did lose 10lbs there, I gained it all right back upon setting foot in Dulles (I’ve been deprived of Chipotle for four months, I deserve to have it twice a week for a month. Asshole.)

    There was a time, when I actually cared and worried. I go to the gym, I do yoga, I’m not just sitting around doing nothing. And hell yes, I’m going to eat. I will have potatoes for breakfast, maybe even a breakfast sandwich on a biscuit; hell, throw in pizza with eggplant parmagiana and linguine with pesto ON TOP of pizza crust. I don’t care.

    Just remind me to wake up and go for that run in the morning. Damn.