From Me to You

Color makes me happySaying thank you is more than good manners.  It is good spirituality.  ~Alfred Painter

I’m going to start this off on a depressing note: The last 10 months have sucked. The kind of suckage where, for a time, I would awake in the morning with a stomach full of dread as to what the day might bring. Awaking each day wishing that I hadn’t is the saddest truth. But there were therapists and dosage increases because surely that would do. An extra milligram always does the trick. Well, it turns out that what one really, truly, absolutely needs at times is a lifestyle change. Not something simple like a shopping trip. New dresses, while lovely, do not manifest in feeling like you can takeover the world. Fast forward to now, this day, October 22nd and I’m finally at a place in my life and with myself where I’m not afraid of a big change but embracing the possibility of such with open arms. It all sounds very ‘woo woo’. Perhaps something heard at the end of a yoga class (which I have been attending on the regular. Heavenly.) but no, this was all on my own because in the face of adversity there is some truth to taking your life into your own hands.

So! Now you know why I haven’t been writing or doing much of anything unless it involves 140 characters or less. I wanted to do something nice for my readers. Those who have been here for...what...seven years now. Who have seen me from 21 going on 22 to today which is actually the start of my birthday week. (Now do you get why I’m all “I’m gonna make life my bitch!”?) I am currently 28 going on 29. Later in the week I’ll give you all of the gory details on turning 29 and...oh my...this is not what I wanted this post to be. I wanted for it to be lighthearted and enjoyable as I prepare to bestow a gift upon my readers and now you know all about my depression and that I’m feeling ready to kick some ass once again.

The real point of this post was that I wanted to do something nice so I spoke to my friend Maile. I love Maile. She’s kind and selfless and my favorite is to give her 800 compliments and watch her blush. She is a good soul and I’m happy to call her friend. Anyway, I told Maile that I wanted to do a giveaway of her fabulous Epiphanie Bags for my birthday week. Of course my email was dripping with melancholy and she said YES! Of COURSE!

And here we are.

I’m giving away a tangeringe Belle bag courtesy of Epiphanie.

 

As a thank you, perhaps. Thanks for being here. Thanks for not leaving me when I don’t have my groove. And to celebrate the week of my birth. And maybe to get excited about 29. Almost 30. Whoo!

I love Epiphanie bags. I actually own two Lolas, a Paris, a Lyric and a Clover (seen above). Epiphanie recently debuted their new line of men’s camera/laptop bags and backpacks. You guys, THEY HAVE BACKPACKS. I spend a lot of time staring at them longingly:

Epiphanie | Fall Collection 2012 from The Barkers on Vimeo.

You have until Friday, October 26th at 1 PM EST. To enter. All you have to do is leave a comment telling me how you get your groove back when you're feeling down. This contest is open to US, Canada and our friends outside of North America. Though international winners will have to pay for shipping. You can also find Epiphanie Bags on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. You can also go get you one because they are the loveliest things in the world and really, just looking at them and doing this giveaway has put a smile on my face. And, really, thanks for being here.

Now! Go forth and comment!

All of the Things

Whoa. I've been busy. I know, I know...you're busy, too so let's all be busy together. It's that end of the election (THANK THE LORD) sprint to November 6th. GOTV is headed into full swing and there are walks and rallies and debates and choices to be made and Big Bird. Everything you could possibly want out of an election this one has. And I cannot wait for it to end.

What else? Oh. So, my birthday is coming up (much, MUCH, more on that later) and after debating for all of 36 hours what I would like to get myself for this kinda big birthday (29) I have opted for an iPad. Here's where you all come in: tips, advice? Anything? I'm excited for the productivity front and with a bunch of projects I have coming up, the device will come in handy so anything you got by way of expertise, send it on over.

Then there's the writing: Well, today I posted for the first time on Babble Voices. You know Babble, the site for parents? I'm not pregnant, still not planning on aquiring a child anytime in the near future but, hey! They like me, they really like me (the folks who run the blog side of things). Hopefully the reader will as well. Fingers crossed. My blog is called Change in Action. It should be fun. I hope. Maybe?

And finally, I posted over on Women & Co about the no good, terrible, very bad time I was up to my eyeballs in debt and had Mastercard blowing up my cell. It was joyous and a learning experience and fun fact: Now I don't use credit cards. Not at all. It's freeing.

I think that's all. How are you? What's shaking? Your hair looks pretty today and you can totally rock the chambray like nobody's business.

A Reminder

"If you believe in me, I'll still believe" - Mumford & Sons

In January Amanda suggested acupuncture. It’s amazing and will change your life were the claims. “Heather, I sat there at one point and started to cry”. She smiled. You’ll love it. So, I tried it. She made sure to give me a gift card to a place in downtown Glens Falls. Given my propensity to tell you exactly how I’m feeling with a single flutter of an eyelash, I can assure you that my skepticism came through. I kept telling myself that Amanda had cried and what I needed at that moment was anything to get the waterworks started. I felt that I had been walking around like a soaking wet washcloth for days on end and I was impatient while waiting for someone to come along and ring me out. The acupuncture would surely get things started.

I didn’t cry. Of course not. But there was pleasantness in sitting in a dark room with my eyes closed and, I wonder now, if when I got back to Amanda’s house where I told her that I loved it (I did!) that some of it was purely psychosomatic. I shrug now but at the time I felt, I don’t know....something. I told my acupuncturist (is that what they’re called?) about my anxiety and how I had spent the last week with a knot in my stomach. I’d sit in my car or lay in bed rubbing a spot on my belly massaging a ball of worry away. Hence the acupuncture and anything to make things - everything - better. Amanda had wine waiting for me after my appointment. Her girls went night skiing and we chatted.

I think that a talk over wine is the single greatest form of therapy. The simplicity of conversation between two friends. Even if one is speaking more than the other, can be, just the key. A quick swirl of wine between sips. Not to check out the density of the product but because some sort of movement seems like the right thing to do.

A few weeks ago Amanda told me that we were going on her boat. In September when the lake would be quiet and still and, the silence. Sometimes I need silence or to speak out loud knowing that no one will hear me. I accepted her offer. “I have Malbec for you”. She doesn’t drink red wine but she made sure to have my favorite because that’s the type of person she is. She let me speak for an hour though it was less speaking and more rambling because plans needed to be made. I had to get through Big Thing and focus on other things. It was me at my best hypomanic state. I thought I was making sense while trailing off and confusing my tenses. The latter, I am an expert on. But she sat there, wine glass in hand, assuring me that I was right. Things would be good. I would be OK. Never in a condescending tone, nary an eye roll. Just me, on the water with the hum of the boat in the background telling her anything and everything.

In these moments of absolute uncertainty, sprinkled with fear she manages to make things good and perfect. The point of this story is that when I’m feeling less than lucky it’s good to know that there are people like her around.