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Heather Barmore
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    Thursday
    Jan242013

    The Mightiest 

    "You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you."  ~Ray Bradbury

     

    I had the intention of starting off the first post of a new year with glorious news. Of course intentions are solely what we would like to do or have happen not necessarily what will happen. So, back to the drawing board I go. Instead I will start off with a post I read by Karen Walrond inspired by Laurie Smithwick. The premise of both posts is that more time should and needs to be spent away from the computer in order to tap into one's creativity. I have been blessed to find myself surrounded by some of the most creative - with their words, photos, artistic ability, design prowess, etc. - women in the world. It’s a humbling experience to look at photos of your friend’s perfectly colored and arranged living room while you stare at a wall that was supposed to be a bright red but is more brownish-oozing out of your knee-red.

    Back to creativity and moving away from the screen to explore such; when surrounded by these women I am hard pressed to want to fit in because it is a natural instinct when the reality is that I will never be their kind of creative and that is OK. These friends of mine aren’t necessarily experts on the filibuster and again; that is OK. We each have strengths and weaknesses in ourselves that others look to as a source of inspiration. I’m only happy that it took some 29 years for me to make this discovery. No matter because I am happy with where I am in terms of knowing myself.

    And that is what I came here for today to tap into my creative side which isn’t like my friend’s creative sides but hey, that’s what makes me special and different (in a good way). I also came here to set my intentions  which might not work out (see above) - and see how that goes:

    This fall I attended Camp Mighty. A retreat for goal oriented and creative people who want to tap into that and put their wants out into the Universe. It sounds very ‘woo woo’ but it works, I swear. For I have also learned in these 29 years that putting things out there and stating what you want means that I will at least make an effort to get there and if it doesn’t work out? Well, I tried. And sometimes that is the best we can hope for.


    At Camp Mighty each attendee shares five things from their Life Lists that they would like to accomplish for the year. Mine were: 1) Practice yoga three times a week for 30 days (more on this later); 2) Be a tourist in Washington, DC; 3) Finish a writing project/book proposal that I have been working on for five years; 4) [top secret thing]; 5) Run a half-marathon (September 15th); 6) Throw a 30th birthday party for myself.

    The part I am tapping into this year and have never felt so open to and willing to move forward with is number 3. Though number 4 is a close second. If there is one thing I have always been creative with - some might disagree - it is with my words. When I write I don’t feel anxious and things feel easier. When I found out that something I wanted wasn’t happening my mother -and indulge me while I ask if you knew that mother’s know everything. Like, really. They do. I’m convinced that they are always right - said perhaps that isn’t your path. She told me she believed that life is full of possibilities and fate and that I need to be more open to them. I called foul at first but quickly realized that she was right. Perhaps if I allowed myself to be open to things, perhaps if I stopped thinking so much, perhaps if I stepped away from the day-to-day and focused on a creative endeavour like my friends Karen and Laurie, perhaps then I might find some joy.

    I have vague-blogged and cried my way through 365 days of unhappiness due to things that I cannot discuss publicly -catch me in person and I’ll let it rip - but I haven’t put nearly as much effort into focusing on good things which might allow other good things to come my way. The point here - and I promise to make one - is that being creative and allowing that process to take over isn’t just about aesthetics but about acknowledging that means tearing yourself from the monotony in order to find something deeper. For some that means getting away from the computer and for others, like me, it means getting back to it and allowing my words to flow freely.

    And that is where I am today. I am open and willing to say that whatever happens may happen and that to get out of my routine and doing something else can lead to the unexpected. It makes me excited for the year and hopeful for possibility. So for the year I will write and write more and let it all out. I’m putting it out there. Everything. It will be good for me. 

    Thursday
    Dec062012

    Pause

    "A great part of life consists in contemplating what we cannot cure."  ~Robert Louis Stevenson

    On Tuesday evening as I was leaving my hot yoga class - remind me to tell you more about this class and the healing properties of sweating through your everything later - a woman stopped me and asked if I “was that blogger?”. I did my trademark stand there/look puzzled and she said, “Heather? You moved from DC...” and I was like, oh, yeah, my name IS Heather and I DID move from DC. Then she started to say “I used to...well, I don’t really follow blogs anymore”. She wanted to say “I used to read you but I don’t anymore” which, at this point, would have been fine with me. As I would have replied, “Oh, honey, I used to read me too”.

    Months ago I was having drinks with Jenny in San Francisco - another thing I managed to forget to mention - when she asked why I don’t blog anymore. This was an In Real Life face- to-face/you won’t blow up my spot-type conversation where I was able to be honest. The reasons for my absence, my lackadaisical blogging, and the dust all up in this place is  nothing very exciting. The truth is that life happened. Life happened so hard and fast and rather unexpectedly that it all caught me by surprise. One minute things were fine, normal, enjoyable even then I had the wind sucked out of my sails because...LIFE...and since then I haven’t felt much like myself. I’m good at faking it. At least I think I am. There are many people who are able to write while they slog through bull shit but unfortunately, I am not one of those people. I am the contemplative type. I’ll talk about it over drinks where inflection and sarcasm are noted. Though really, what is there to say? This sucks but it could be worse? Boring.

    While I let all of the stuff marinate I am officially taking a personal blogging break. If Congress wasn’t in the middle of a juicy lame duck session that involves He said, He said, I would stop blogging all together but it’s far easier to discuss the Fiscal Cliff than my personal life. The former doesn’t come with tears. I’ve also got Babble. Which, I must say, has been really fun. People have their opinions about Babble and that is on them but I have been and continue to enjoy it and all of its parenting and pregnancy and ish.

    So, that’s how I am. Let’s say we meet back here in early January. Sound good? Great. Oh, if I don’t see you before hand have a very happy holiday season and here’s my favorite eggnog ever. Be careful.

    Talk soon.

    Monday
    Nov262012

    Write On

    “How I abhor this place
    Its sweet and bitter taste” - The Decemberists

    Sunday was intended for writing. I had blocked out a few hours prior to my yoga class...and let me stop here to say that while it may seem like I am a very well disciplined young lady, I am not. Case in point this morning I was supposed to be up at 6 for a run and whoopsie daisy! I got out of bed at 8:15. But I really did think hard about removing my ass from under the covers every time I hit snooze.

    Moving on.

    So, Sunday! I was going to write but then one thing led to another and next thing you know I was tooling around on Spotify trying to find just the right amount of Bon Iver to The Decemberists ratio. And just like that a playlist was born and I had one thing written that needed to be done and as my friend Alana said - “HALF THE BATTLE”.

    Below is what I listen to when I write and after announcing on Facebook that I made this list I realized that it might not be all that fantastic. I mean, for every one person who says “Awesome!” there will be four people who say with a yawn, “You listen to Mumford & Sons while writing? How revolutionary.”

    Write On via Spotify

    Skinny Love - Bon Iver
    Salvation - Langhorne Slim
    The Kids Don’t Stand a Chance - Vampire Weekend
    Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear
    40 Day Dream - Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros
    M79 - Vampire Weekend
    Lover, You Should Have Come Over - Jamie Cullum
    I and Love and You - The Avett Brothers
    King of Anything - Sara Bareilles
    Love Gun - Cee Lo Green
    Dog Days are Over - Florence and the Machine
    Mercy - Duffy
    Roll Away Your Stone - Mumford & Sons
    White Blank Page - Mumford & Sons
    4 and 20 - Joss Stone
    They Do, They Don’t - Jack Johnson
    I Will Wait - Mumford & Sons
    Los Angeles, I’m Yours - The Decemberists
    Rivers and Roads - The Head and the Heart
    Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise - The Avett Brothers

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