Tuesday
Feb212012
"You all look like idiots"
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
That's what I thought and then said out loud to my napping cat last night. Of course he didn't care and just opened one eye, gave me that 'Lady! I'm sleeping!' look and then went back to his slumber. But I was far too angry to shut my eyes.
It started with a Virginia bill that would require a transvaginal ultrasound before allowing a woman to have an abortion. To which a conservative commentator said that a TVU is just like sex and when someone else repeated her words back to her she (commentator) then referred to that person (a male) as a pervert and, bonus! A child molester and then the rest of the Internet got really mad and several progressives expressed their hope that the commentator be raped only to be followed up by referring to said female commentator as a CUNextTuesday. And as I am typing this all out I just keep rolling my eyes more and more dramatically and whoops! One just popped out.
This situation doesn't deserve to be called a 'debate' or 'discourse' as those who engaged from the commentator to her foes on the other side of the aisle are adult enough to have participated in actual discussion. I returned to my computer after 18 hours of true engagement on how to help communities of color and promptly stepped into a Twitter feed of WTF. One of those moments where you're looking back at who said what and when and for God's sake, WHY? I was turned off. It has nothing to do with who in this argument was wrong or right and I would be remiss not to say that I do not agree with giving women transgavingal ultrasounds or any other ultrasound before allowing her to have an abortion. I do not agree with a growing sentiment that women who want to use contraception are 'sluts' or that rape and incest are things that women should just roll with. And I am most certainly not OK with men treating my body as if it is their own and their very manly way of assuming that because they have a penis they know what is best for everyone. Unless you are my gynecologist you have no business being all up in my uterus. Thank you very much.
While the above makes me shake with rage that hasn't been the root of my concern over the past 48 hours. My dismay is not just because I am a woman (a woman who can make her own choices about her body but thanks for the faux concern) but as a person who has spent much of her time encouraging debate and pleading with friends and family to take an interest in what happens on all levels of government. I am constantly asked how to get women involved in politics and I have stayed true to saying that ALL women, no matter their ideology, should voice their concerns and be aware of what is happening in the world around them. To come home to a Twitter feed of progressive women being referred to as 'pro-abortion'/'pro-murder' and the response being calls for rape made me quite literally hate everyone. How can I suggest to women to get involved when voicing their opinion means being called a cunt? How am I to say with a straight face that discourse is a good thing and that democracy and difference is why we are able to have real discussion but in the event that someone disagrees you will be threatened with rape? How?
I literally shrug and sigh deeply as I type these words because I feel defeated as I ask for conversation to happen and then I see that women don't want to be involved in politics because they will be threatened with bodily harm. Women don't want to be involved in politics because of the above. Because discourse can turn to evil. Because no one can focus on REAL issues. Because it's all about besting the other person instead of conversation.
And I don't know what to do.
It started with a Virginia bill that would require a transvaginal ultrasound before allowing a woman to have an abortion. To which a conservative commentator said that a TVU is just like sex and when someone else repeated her words back to her she (commentator) then referred to that person (a male) as a pervert and, bonus! A child molester and then the rest of the Internet got really mad and several progressives expressed their hope that the commentator be raped only to be followed up by referring to said female commentator as a CUNextTuesday. And as I am typing this all out I just keep rolling my eyes more and more dramatically and whoops! One just popped out.
This situation doesn't deserve to be called a 'debate' or 'discourse' as those who engaged from the commentator to her foes on the other side of the aisle are adult enough to have participated in actual discussion. I returned to my computer after 18 hours of true engagement on how to help communities of color and promptly stepped into a Twitter feed of WTF. One of those moments where you're looking back at who said what and when and for God's sake, WHY? I was turned off. It has nothing to do with who in this argument was wrong or right and I would be remiss not to say that I do not agree with giving women transgavingal ultrasounds or any other ultrasound before allowing her to have an abortion. I do not agree with a growing sentiment that women who want to use contraception are 'sluts' or that rape and incest are things that women should just roll with. And I am most certainly not OK with men treating my body as if it is their own and their very manly way of assuming that because they have a penis they know what is best for everyone. Unless you are my gynecologist you have no business being all up in my uterus. Thank you very much.
While the above makes me shake with rage that hasn't been the root of my concern over the past 48 hours. My dismay is not just because I am a woman (a woman who can make her own choices about her body but thanks for the faux concern) but as a person who has spent much of her time encouraging debate and pleading with friends and family to take an interest in what happens on all levels of government. I am constantly asked how to get women involved in politics and I have stayed true to saying that ALL women, no matter their ideology, should voice their concerns and be aware of what is happening in the world around them. To come home to a Twitter feed of progressive women being referred to as 'pro-abortion'/'pro-murder' and the response being calls for rape made me quite literally hate everyone. How can I suggest to women to get involved when voicing their opinion means being called a cunt? How am I to say with a straight face that discourse is a good thing and that democracy and difference is why we are able to have real discussion but in the event that someone disagrees you will be threatened with rape? How?
I literally shrug and sigh deeply as I type these words because I feel defeated as I ask for conversation to happen and then I see that women don't want to be involved in politics because they will be threatened with bodily harm. Women don't want to be involved in politics because of the above. Because discourse can turn to evil. Because no one can focus on REAL issues. Because it's all about besting the other person instead of conversation.
And I don't know what to do.
Reader Comments (2)
I had the same "shaking with rage" feeling a few nights ago when that one idiot suggested proper birth control was an aspirin held between the knees. (But let's not get started on that.)
My husband and I have been having a similar women-in-leadership conversation for a few months now, and he asked me what could be done, especially given the general hostility toward politically vocal women of any party. I wish I has an answer for it all, but if I were god for a day, I think I'd institute gender quotas for the Congress. Which insults my conservative tendencies, but would at least get us all closer to equal representation.
I don't know, Heather. I'd run for an office myself if wasn't honestly afraid of the kind of abuse you describe above. Gah.
First of all, deep breath. There are good people who find this whole situation deplorable. There are conservatives of faith, centrists and progressive people who are willing to talk but not get involved in this freak show.
Deplorable. There is no other word for it. But we as a culture have some responsibility. And maybe Jerry Springer too. When we allowed yelling and screaming to stand in for debate and civic conversations we lost more than we knew.
When we collectively as a nation allow lies and mis-information to stand unchallenged in a civil manner, even when it supports our beliefs, we lost even more. We now have succeed in having our political dialog come down to who is a C and who is S.
I take political time outs. I seek out sane thinkers and speakers. I try real hard not to curse on social media sites. I hope to network with sane folks that truly want to dialog and find solutions. The road is long but I have to stay on the path. (With rest breaks as needed.)